Chicago, Dude

A woman came to my department seeking to have her engagement ring sized. Now, I get this often and usually the woman is happy, excited, and can’t wait to get the ring sized and on her finger. Not this one.

She accepted her proposal some three months ago and now, after much pressure from the future husband, she was getting the ring sized. I asked her why she waited so long and she replied, “Look at it.” And I did.

It was ugly.

“What am I supposed to do?” she asked.

What do you do?

I was married once but I got married the old fashioned way. I got her pregnant. So, I have no engagement experience. I’ve seen engagements at basketball games and on television. I’ve heard from friends about their “crazy” engagements and I watched a friend of mine make her man propose to her. But in every situation, one thing was always right, the ring.

I saw Sex and the City, Season 4, Episode 60 when Aidan bought Carrie that bad ring, so I know that men buy bad rings. (And obviously, this particular guy didn’t see episode 60)

But what is a girl supposed to do?

This particular girl, despite hating the ring, accepted the engagement and the ring and then spent three months battling with her love for her man, her desire not to hurt his feelings, and the presence of a hideous ring. In my book, this makes her a caring, loving, b*tch.

I mean, he’s a man. He’s supposed to be able to control his feelings. And either way his feelings are going to get hurt. And what hurts more? Finding out the ring you bought sucks or finding out the woman you are going to marry lied to you and said she likes the ring when she doesn’t.

And, seriously, what kind of man buys an engagement ring for a woman without consulting her? That’s just stupid. With all the cuts, settings, metals, sizes of fingers and personal insanity that goes along with getting married, it’s just a stupid move to go commando with the engagement ring.

But I digress.

This girl chose to keep the ring and not hurt his feelings. So, for the next year the symbol of her new life will be an ugly engagement ring that she must look at daily; show her friends who will also see the ugliness, and worst, smile every time the ring or the engagement is mentioned.

I wished her good luck.